I hope to remember when I was 21. It was the year I learned the most about myself – more then any other year – possibly even combined; and it was an enjoyably easy trek.

I learned a lot about nature, the basics, what it’s like to be lost, and what it’s like to be content. It was a roller coaster at times, but for the first time in several years I’ve looked back and feel confident to say I finished the year higher then where I started – the problems are getting smaller to the point that I should almost stop worrying about them – most which society suggests are taboo.

Over the year I went from helpdesk to system administrator for a telecom company, sure it’s a failing one – but that irrelevant – and really completed my goals from late high-school; I bought a new car; I focused on people, and had a short but valuable [for lessons learned] relationship; I was able to say I made a few good calls over the year.

I also made some mistakes that I learned from... Most notably I learned that I’m not as dependent on people as I started to think a year ago; high-school is not the end of assholes; I learned a lot about myself and some society pressures that were influencing my decisions.

I've made some bad calls over the year but none of them caught up with me! How many years can I go and say that? I hope more.  I’m feeling a little more confident, but not invincible.

This year I want to be more frivolous; remind myself it’s my journey and I’m free to abuse it as I please - and some extreme highs & lows just make for a better story, but to be cautious that a lot of people go thru this stage of their life when people can mean everything and nothing.

I'm gonna check my scars at home
Gonna cash my chips and roam
Gonna walk before you fade to black
I'm gonna write a new resume
I'm gonna write you off the page
I'm gonna take what we might take away
And you may find a brighter day
And in another year
The pain will disappear and I
Will look back on this life as if it were a scene
In a film somebody made for you and me
I wish you well
She wants to be set free
Wants the space to feel love
And be angry and I watch her bounce off the walls
While the chips they start to fall
And then in a little while I see
That distant smile returning
Just like a ghost in a dream
That we had way back when
Then she'll turn and smile and say
Come again

And in another year
The pain will disappear
We'll look back on this life as if it were a scene
In a film somebody made about you and me
I cannot believe there's
nothing left to save
Hard as a hammer she wants me
To come again and again
I'm down on my knees
Won't you come again
Don't you need me
Don't you need me

And in another year
The pain will disappear
And I will look back on this life
As if it were a scene
And in a little while
I'll see that distant smile returning
Just like back in the days
When we were so naive
In a film somebody; somebody made

I wish you well